Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she smelled like a LAN party
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
