you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
