i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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