I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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