We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
