she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
