i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
