I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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