Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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