"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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