just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
