her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
