Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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