Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
