i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She told me I should be a condom model.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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