didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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