Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
