Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
