I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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