Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So much rum. So many feels.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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