Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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