Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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