I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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