My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
