What a fucking waste of an outfit
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
