the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
