I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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