Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
