I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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