im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
