grandma shit on top of the toilet
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
