oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
