I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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