i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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