I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm at about main and main street
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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