he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
