God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
look no pants
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
