I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
