thus making me awesome and them whores
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
