Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Text me some of your sweat
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
