i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
