she was so not down for the gang bang
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
