that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
