You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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