the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Randomize
