Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
