hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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