Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
