Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
