Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
