you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
