I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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