he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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