Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
either way he was missing a nipple.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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